VIBRATIONS – A Blog Adventure By Veruska Quinones

Jenny and I @ 17........

A Note To Jenny…………

Dear Jenny,…

It is Saturday, July 24th, 2010,…and im sitting here reflecting and contemplating on our friendship throughout the years….
Im hoping that we still have a friendship though…..

About 3 months ago, you took off me off your friends list…..and i have to say that i was pretty shocked…..
You were by far my oldest friend…since i dont know 1979 or 80?

you were my first friend when i moved here from Canada…..

I will tell you something about me, though…..

I am one that gets perspective real quick…..

and i know why you did it…..

I never really made an effort to reconnect with you ,after we found each other again…..
Does that make me a Bad friend?

Perhaps in your Eyes ,,,,,the answer would be….yes…..

in my eyes…..my answer is no……..

Jenny i havent always been a good friend….that is for sure….

I think we have all been accused in one way or another…of not being a good friend….

but throught the years I Have become a person that is very connected to a source that is beyond my understanding…..
yet at the same time ,….im a person that is very detached as well……

From situtations,,and yes sometimes….People…..

I think the only way to truly understand this whole scenario….is to go back…..

I had an amazingopportunity to divulge my whole life story…to a person that i ve never met before…

which is a good thing , because it gave me an opportunity, to reflect and gain a deeper understanding to why i am ….welll…..the way i am……

lets go back shall we?

so yes were bffs growing up……

and Jen, you don’t realize this, but your home was my refuge……..
it was my reprieve…….

I love your family….
YOU HAVE THE BEST FAMILY EVER……

and to be able to speak to Jon here on Facebook is awseome..

and you know that i spent alot of time at your place…..
and when it was time for me to go……..

i dreaded it…..

home was not a good place for me….

and i experienced things in my childhood that were way beyond my maturity level…as well as no kid should EVER…have to experience that….

NO kid…

But you guys never knew that…..

because in many people eyes i had a good home….

we were good at keeping up on experiences..

and unfortunately it would be seeds that eventually would grow into wild weeds….that wouls choke and strangle parts of my psyche,,,,that would defintitely not serve me in any way , shape or form……..

Maybe some of you that are reading this maybe be thinking that im playing the worlds smallest violin for you…..

but im not……

i dont sit here and feel sorry for myself…….

jenny yes im sure you have gone through your challenges in life……

so perhaps , i can enlighten you…..in a brief manner what has happened since we last saw each other….ready….
first of all i have to say that i think its so rad that you ended up marrying James, and you have a BEAUTIFUL FAMILY…..and your outlook on life is AMAZING……okay heres goes

parents divorcing…
having to take care of my sister, cuz mom couldnt cope for awhile….
dropped out of high school,then left home…..
lived in my car for awhile….
drug addiction,
pain affliction,
VERY LOST……
I was what you would call a lovable trainwreck…..

Iam happy to report now that im NOW JUST LOVEABLE>>>>LOL>>>>

yes Jenny trainwreck left my consciuosness….

and i got to xperience the beauty in my life such as …….

seeing the beauty in the liitle things in life….
giving birth to my dAUGHTER Maya..
not having addiction issues…..
finding my spirituality……
being positive….
forgiving those who i guess were doing the best thing that they knew how..
you know they were victims too at one times….
i have learned to open my heart…and connect with people…
and i have to say ….

I HAVE A PRETTY FUCKIN FANTASTIC LIFE…
filled with people that are amazing….
and life experiences that i know i have consciously created on my own….

Im not saying in any way that life is fuckin peaches and creme…

OH NO NO NO……

there are some things that im still uncovering about myself….through some experiences
such as the demise of my marriage……..
i honestly can say that i understand men for who they are…….
but when it came to the dynamic of marriage which unless youre in it…
it A WHOLE OTHER BALL GAME…….
and i can honestly say right now in front of the whole world….

marriage is not for me…..
but i am ssooooo happy for you and James….
when you got something special….

YOU HOLD ONTO IT….

and last raising a daughter with special needs….
maya is autistic and every day with her as her mom has been enlightening, exciting and at the same time incredibly frustrating and yes scary….

but i surprise myself….
because ..i am a very good mom…..

and know that this happening, has made me realize not to take your loved ones for granted, and you were the source of inspiration, along with my pen pal’s encouragement….to start my own blog….
which i hope you will come and visit….

I LOVE YOU JENNY…….

and i want to welcome you and alll of you who are reading this to my world of “VIBRATIONS”…….@ PIMPHOP.COM………..

See you all there!!!!