"Like-Ability" – Click Here & Learn How To Get You Some

Do you want to get results and be
successful? Do you want to make quick progress in closing the gap between where
you are and where you really want to be? There is a natural solution. Be
likable! It is actually easier done than said.

Honesty vs. dishonesty is clearly the number one issue in
determining likability or unlikability. Dishonesty of any sort is quickly
perceived as a very disturbing and unlikable trait. It also carries a
“permanent” connotation that isn’t easily erased. Honesty is a deeply held value
and can run all the way from a person’s surface sincerity and “realness” to his
or her fundamental morality, truthfulness, and trustworthiness.
Conversation or behavior that isn’t totally honest waves a red
flag that causes other people to back off and not trust you. Trust is necessary
for good communication and good communication is the heart of satisfying and
productive interpersonal relationships, which in turn are a big part of any
success.
The reason that dishonesty is such an important issue in
leading to a quick and permanent perception of unlikability is that we tend to
personalize it. Present dishonest behavior reminds us of a past occasion where
we were deeply hurt by a person’s dishonesty. All the negative emotions rise to
the surface. The best approach is to concentrate on becoming the most sincere,
integrated, genuine, honest and trustworthy person you can in all inter-personal
relationships. Leave the dishonest person to disappoint him or herself, not you.
Be honest!

People clearly do not like arrogant, selfish or conceited
people. We all prefer to be around humble, generous achievers. Knowing this
reality, it should be easy to control your tendency to be self-centered, aloof
or overbearing when dealing with others. Why would you want to do anything that
is sure to brand you as unlikable and lead to inevitable failure?
We all want to be “somebody” and our egos can easily become too
noisy and annoying if we don’t keep them in check. Being a quiet, likable
achiever is a better way to draw attention and be seen as the important,
successful person you are. Be humble!

Empathy is high on the list of characteristics that influence
likability. After all, we all want to be understood, valued as individuals,
treated fairly and equally, accepted unconditionally, and given genuine respect.
Empathy is the quickest way to dissolve the differences that keep us apart.
Empathy also helps us all feel the way we want to feel. It is a powerful
tool.
In developing empathy, judgments are replaced by acceptance,
understanding and compassion. The best way to convey empathy is through your
eyes and ears. The easiest way to show it is by practicing the Golden
Rule. And remember, what you can’t describe in words can be
demonstrated. Learn empathy!

The next most important thing that influences peoples’
perceptions of others as being likable is a sense of humor. Displaying
good humor may mean anything from laughing easily to being fun-loving. The point
is, showing some type of appropriate humor is extremely valuable in being
perceived as likable. Humor is reflective of playfulness, openness and
happiness, which are all highly attractive behaviors.
Check out your humor level and restock it if need be. Visit the
zoo, check out some humor web sites, browse the comedy section of your local
video store, read a good joke book or buy a Farside desk calendar. Life
has its serious moments, but it is healthier to view it as a comedy of errors.
Besides, don’t take life too seriously because you are not going to get out of
it alive! And remember, if you can’t laugh at yourself then others will probably
do it for you. Laugh often!

Just like dishonesty, negativity of any sort is a quick turnoff
with people. Unlikable negativity can include a wide variety of things such as
pessimism, complaining, worrying, blaming, frustration, jealousy, helplessness,
moodiness or criticism. Negativity is generally associated with people who do
not believe in their own power to change things for the better. This may have
been developed from repeated early failures that influenced the person to expect
future negative results, which in turn put success farther out of reach.
If you are leaning toward negativity and risking being seen as
unlikable, it is time for you to deal with whatever it is that is making you
unhappy. The negative belief in the inability to control your life is only a
belief and a false one at that. You may have to make a few uncomfortable
exchanges or sacrifices to undo some previous bad choices, but the opportunity
to make the right choice now is always here. Being positive always brings
the finishing line closer. People who can be positive during adversity are the
most likable. Be positive!

Expressing anger, aggressiveness, bitterness, hate, prejudice
or loudness is the third quickest way to be perceived as unlikable, behind being
dishonest and egotistical. In reality, most anger is a secondary emotion that
really represents more basic feelings of hurt, frustration, disappointment, fear
or insecurity. Showing such anger is probably intuitively perceived as another
version of dishonesty.
Hostility may also be the result of a person’s sense of not
being able to control things in his or her life. In that sense it is directed
outwardly onto others and life in general, when it should be aimed more at
motivating the person to take responsibility for making different choices to
stop failing and start succeeding. The best way we can all decrease the amount
of anger going on today is to not react angrily. Control hostility!

Good manners influence the perception of likability. Aspects of
fundamental politeness such as being respectful of others, showing patience, not
interrupting, and being kind, nice, thoughtful and friendly, are probably all on
the front end of empathy. Even the most minor and infrequent displays of
rudeness greatly influence a lasting perception of unlikability.
Treating people reverently and politely is putting the
Golden Rule into practice and can never be perceived as being anything
but likable behavior. Showing politeness by practicing good manners is the
surest way to receive the respect you want in return. It is a little thing that
gets big results. Be polite!

Of all the characteristics that people use to determine another
person’s likability, this is the one that is most unclear. Intelligence can be
assumed from many things such as good judgment, common sense, creativity,
competence, open-mindedness, memory, clear expression, focused attention, or
several other mental “skills.” It could be that people assume degrees of
intelligence from the results they see.
Without knowing for sure how someone else is defining
“intelligence,” it is a difficult characteristic to demonstrate in order to be
seen as likable. Personally, I think that growth is our main goal and that using
whatever mental or social skills you have to become likable is the best
application of intelligence. If you are likable you are using your intelligence
productively to get where you want to be. Act smart!

An attractive appearance that influences likability is not one
based on innate physical looks alone. In fact it is based more on things like
proper grooming and hygiene, good eye contact, alluring voice, clean “friendly”
clothes, social poise and inner confidence and harmony. All these things work
together to make up a pleasant overall appearance. A friendly smile is the
single best clue to showing a likable appearance.
Practice good grooming and hygiene and dress neatly and
interestingly. Develop your poise and the power of your eyes and voice. Also
build inner confidence and contentment by taking advantage of the power of
choice you have in doing what you need to do to get where you really want to be.
Add a frequent smile and your appearance will then take care of itself. Appear
attractive!

People generally like good listeners and dislike talkers and
interrupters. This is because we all want to be understood, have our say and be
treated politely. We think we have a lot to say, but when we take the time to
listen better we may find that we don’t really need to say as much. And, good
listening always tells you what you need to know in order to give the best
response. It pays to listen well.
Probably the easiest way to increase your likability is to
become a better listener. You can do this by talking less and giving the other
person your full attention. Listen carefully to what is being said, along
with how it is being said to get the full meaning. Be patient and tune
out all your distractions so you can truly understand the other person. What
could be easier and more productive than good listening? Listen more!
My suspicion is that all these inter-related outward
characteristics really represent something much deeper inside us. This is the
common mission of mankind, which is “to improve and grow in developing and using
our special talents fully and effectively in entertaining, guiding and helping
ourselves and others achieve a productive, meaningful and satisfying life.”
Any behaviors that are perceived to resist, inhibit or attack this
primary value are judged as unlikable. Behaviors that are perceived as helpful,
encouraging and conducive to moving toward this common purpose are perceived as
likable.
Practice these 10 simple habits in order to increase your
likability and improve your chances for success in helping your self and others
achieve our common mission. Being likable is just a matter of letting your
natural self take over. Being unlikable is actually more difficult. You have to
work harder to be unnatural.
Here is a suggestion. Have some intimate conversations with
important people in your life about what is most influential in the
determination of another person’s likability or unlikability. Discuss what these
things mean and represent. You will be surprised at the amount of interesting
and useful dialogue this will open up.

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comparison of Cottinger to SQ findings